What are Sex Parties and Sex on Premises Venues (SOPVs)? 

Sexual encounters can happen in many different places and with various people. Sex parties and SOPVs are environments where people may engage in sexual activities, often in the presence of others. These are establishments where you can connect with others in a designated, private environment. SOPVs may have different themed nights, such as events specifically for queer communities, or they could be integrated with spas, saunas, or even more dungeon-like settings. If you’re able to travel, you’ll find a range of creative and interesting SOPVs across Australia. 

Where Can I Find These Spaces? 

A great place to find these venues is online. Social media platforms like Facebook and Reddit have groups for people looking to connect at SOPVs or parties. It’s important to remember that some groups may not be anonymous and could display your identity or membership to others. Try searching in your local area and see what comes up! 

Considering Safety and Comfort 

If you’re concerned about safety, it’s worth thinking about how you want to manage sharing your identity. Social media can allow you to control how much or how little you share about yourself before meeting potential people or attending venues/parties. At the venue or party, it’s your choice when and how to disclose your identity (like your name, age, and where you work), depending on your comfort level and the context of the event.  

Feeling empowered and confident is key to enjoying these experiences. Remember, this is entirely your decision, and setting your boundaries can enhance your sense of safety and comfort. 

What Should I Wear? 

Choose comfortable, weather-appropriate clothing that’s easy to remove or put back on. Make sure your footwear is suitable for the environment – enclosed shoes are usually a good idea for both comfort and practicality. 

Venues may have a dress code, so check their website or social media ahead of the event to see how they’d like their attendees to dress. Comfort and feeling sexy are key. 

What to Bring 

It’s always a good idea to bring barriers like condoms and water-based lubricant to protect yourself and others from STIs, HIV, or unintended pregnancies. Be mindful of carrying only essential items and storing them securely, especially if you’re in a more public or open setting. 

If you’re heading to an SOPV or sex club, lockers are often provided for storing personal belongings. Note that some venues may require you to leave your phone at reception to protect everyone’s privacy. 

Setting Your Intentions 

Before heading to a SOPV or sex party, take some time to think about what you want from the experience. Consider questions like: Do you want to engage in specific activities? Are there any boundaries or limits you want to set? Are these hard boundaries (absolutely off-limits), or soft boundaries (things that might change depending on the context)? This type of self-reflection can help you feel more centred and prepared, and it allows you to maintain control over your experience. Always have a plan for how to exit if things don’t feel right. 

Managing Uncertainty 

Feeling a bit nervous or unsure is completely normal. If you’re new to these environments, consider arriving when doors open to familiarise yourself with the space before participating. Remember, there is no expectation of participation when you're in these spaces. If the first time (or few times) you go you just watch and chat to others, that's okay! If you ever feel uncomfortable or things don’t go as expected, remember that you’re always free to leave – there’s no obligation to stay if you don’t want to. 

Navigating Rejection 

Rejection is a natural part of these spaces. If someone declines an invitation or expresses disinterest, try to remember that their response reflects their personal preferences or boundaries, not your worth. It’s okay to feel the sting, but accepting their decision can help maintain a respectful and positive environment. Remember, everyone deserves to feel safe and respected in their interactions. At the same time, rejection accompanied by inappropriate language, slurs, verbal abuse, or discrimination isn’t okay and should be reported. If you feel comfortable, speak to venue staff (if there are any) or move to a different area. Have an exit plan if things don’t feel comfortable. 

Aftercare and Safety 

While aftercare isn’t always emphasised in these settings, it can still be an important part of the experience. Aftercare can mean sharing contact details for STI contact tracing or simply taking some time to decompress after the event, like going to get some food. There are many forms of aftercare, so find what feels right for you. For more information about aftercare, head to our Aftercare page.